Sunday, January 30, 2011

I got your meat right here!

     Stupidity abounds!!! Another banner day at AssMart. I can't believe that people don't understand the concept of hamburger. You see, dear reader, I work in the area of the store that sells animal parts for human consumption. They call it the meat department. Today, we ran out of our plastic tubs of hamburger. We still had it in the package known as a chub. A chub, is what you call the plastic tube with metal clamps on the ends. The stuff that rolls of sausage come in. I had customer after customer ask me why we were out of hamburger. Bear in mind at this point I had easily 200 rolls of hamburger on the wall, in the hamburger area no less! I felt the magical emotion I know as hate well up inside of me.
     The questioning continued for several hours. Eventually I started to think about the intelligence of my customers. I have watched them herd themselves into lines for hot items, checkout lines, and even for the ability to use the bathroom. They are all farm animals. I mean really. You don't recognize it as food unless its in a plastic tub. Perhaps we could make it easier and just put a meat trough in front of my area. Then all these fat worthless fucks could eat to their hearts content. Perhaps they should man up and act like the teenage whores who wander through my store and just take their meat in a tube form. don't be afraid of it. It's just a different shape.
     In all seriousness folks, I am not a happy man anymore. I am bitter. I want to see awesome violence inflicted on all of these idiots. My only fear is that I might have to be the one who deals out the punishment. Thanks for listening to me rant.
     As always,
                 Shop Smart, Shop Ass Mart.

14 comments:

  1. Erm, this sounds very worring. I hope you're not being serious x_x

    But those customers dont sound too bright.

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  2. Your story reminds me of my time spent working at the Dollar Tree and Best Buy. Despite seeing me on my hands and knees trying to put items away, people still felt compelled to ask me where to get the item they were standing right in front of.

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  3. I Totally.Fucking.Agree with you. I'm a cashier (thus the name) and I get my fair share of these knuckle-dragger's. Keep your chin up and remember that even though you have to deal with there shit, at least you get paid

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  4. im working at mcdonalds and i can say, that this job is just too worse! too much smell, noise and stupid customers -.- im feeling with you man.

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  5. i never ever want to work at mcdonalds.

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  6. ab so lute ly. following for more.

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  7. Next time put arrows on the ground towards the meat department, just to make SURE they understand

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