Hi. Welcome to my ranting and raving. This will be used as a place where I can vent. I am irreverent and not very nice. I have a tendency to be an ass. They call me Mister Jigglenuts. Long story, if enough people ask I will write that story one day. For now, lets focus on the daily work I do for a large department store/grocery store.
I usually do my best to stay professional but when I'm pushed to the edge of sanity I sometimes snap. I'm talking the kind of snap that has led me to quit almost every job I have every worked. Not just the not showing up but the kind of quit that really fucks over the rest of the store. I walk out, make a scene, and usually cost someone else their job too.
Last night there were 2 girls riding bikes around the store. I don't mean riding them in the toy department only, I mean complete laps. These two stupid cunts were going as fast as the could and were on their third lap when I found out about them. The plan popped into my head and I was ready to perform. I was off work and back to pick up some supplies. I was out of uniform and totally a "civilian". Pushing my cart as fast as I could to the end of the aisle, I made it just in time to walk the cart out in front of one of them, The horror that appeared in the girls eyes was amazing. The color drained from her face and her pink hair. I braced the buggy as she brought the 24 inch bike into the buggy. The next thing I knew she did a flip over the buggy that resembled what happened to Greg Lougainis in the Olympics. Face catching the buggy and then the floor she screamed like she had been beaten with a lead pipe. Truth be told the lead pipe just happened to be shaped like a buggy.
Management was concerned that I would be outed as an employee and would bring legal action onto the store. I got by with it cause they couldn't do anything to me since I wasn't on the clock. After the Christmas I experienced, I needed to hurt someone for being a dumbass, if it happened to be a retarded 14 year old with hot pink hair so be it.
I hear someone calling my name. It's my girlfriend. " What are you thinking about?"she asks. I realize at that point that I'm fantasizing about hurting a 14 year old girl. Perhaps I have problems. Perhaps I have been in the retail world for too long. Perhaps fuck you for judging. I still feel like hell from having just got up from my New Years sleepathon. I hope work gets me something better to talk about. Until Next time remember......Shop Smart, Shop Ass Mart.