Sunday, January 9, 2011

Apparently I am a Racist

I love racist jokes. I love most racial slurs as they make me laugh. Being a middle class white guy I really wish there were more slurs toward white folks. I want to be identified as something. I really don't have a heritage that I have found other than hillbilly. This all being said I do not use any of these words at work. Until.......
     I was talking to a coworker in my department. I told him that as the day goes by I would be able to get more of the freight out of the back room but until then I was done with the task. Anyone catch the racism in that line??? Me either. Next thing I know know this fucking guy walks up to me and starts demanding to speak to my manager. I ignored his accent as it had no bearing on the conversation at the time. I asked him what it was concerning as my manager would want to know before walking across the store for something stupid. He said he wanted to complain about my racist comment. I was dumbfounded. I asked what racist comment he was referring to as I had no idea that the white trash cracker (best slur I can think of) had slipped out of me. He proceeded to tell me that he did not appreciate being called a dago. Not sure if that's spelled right but basically he was Italian and dago is a slur towards wops.....dammmit I mean greasers......guineas....fucking Italians. I told him that I didn't even use that word. He said I heard you tell that guy over there that "Once the dagos buy this I can put more out". Thats right. He was right. I sort of said that. I apologized to him for laughing at him at that point. I explained what it was I truly said and he felt like shit. I love being the one on the right side of an argument. Makes me feel awesome. Customer is always right? Fuck the customer. I personally think that the customer is a scheming asshole who thinks that even though our prices are clearly marked that we can barter so they can JEW you down. See what I did there? The discussion of racism has me wanting to see how many I can sneak into a casual conversation.
      I hope this glimpse into the magic that is my job has left you thinking. I am so glad I'm not a desk jockey. I would lose the chance to meet all of these colorful people. You know what? Fuck it. These people are the reason I had a heart attack. High blood pressure is common for dealing with these people.
     Remember dear reader......Shop Smart, Shop Ass Mart.
                              NIGGERS......damn I did it again.


  1. Now you just hold your lily white, whiny, cracker ass one minute... you mean to tell me that you can't think of any white slurs that you fall under? I must call Christina and Joe on you... I'm sure that between the two of them, they will be able to call you at least a dozen names and slurs that you fall under.

  2. wow completly see what your saying, follow me back? cus im following you now.

  3. Telling racist jokes around people that get offended is racist. But joking about it with some friends is something else.